I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
