Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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