You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
