"it" just moved
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
