ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
