I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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