i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
