i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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