Can Purell be used as lube?
are you so shy because you have an std?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
