So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
