All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
This baby is an asshole
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
