Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
