Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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