Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
