She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
