so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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