I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I will be naked everywhere
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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