I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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