Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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