I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
