3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
