Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I seem to have left my pride at pride
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
