Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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