anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
