I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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