She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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