so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
