Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
