Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
