Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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