i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
