It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
