Pants 0. Shit 1.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
