More tranny stories later!
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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