Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
