just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
