I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
