Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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