he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
