Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
look no pants
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
