We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
