We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
