If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
