So drunk its hurt
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
that is very illegal...i love you.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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