i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
