My hand turned me down
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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