After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
