Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
