Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
