i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
